Monday, January 2, 2012

Direction for 2012 - Top Resolutions

I've decided to spend a little more time on this entry and actually do some research.
But then I got lazy and did a quick google search and found what I needed in about 30 seconds.

I'm going to talk about some people's New Years Resolutions...
Now keep in mind, I will be making fun of them the whole time.
Please don't look for this to be an inspirational entry to motivate you to keep yours.
Actually it may work like that when you want to prevent your resolution from showing up here next year.

These top resolutions are random and in no particular order.

1. Lose Weight, Get Fit, Be Healthy, and anything else that can be related to fitness.

Why start this in the middle of winter? It's always dark, cold and depressing. This is more a summer time thing. And why are you waiting all year to lose weight? O ya, that's right. Its because of the mountains of food and sweets everyone eats during the holidays, you feel guilty, you hop on a treadmill, lose the 5 lbs you gained and you hop off. Way to commit...who am I kidding? I'm the same way

2. Quit smoking, drinking or some other kind of bad habit

I applaud the effort of those that try, but with St. Patty's Day on March 17th, that really only gives you 2 and a half months to rid yourself of whatever it is your doing before being tempted on one of the biggest parties of the year. Why would you want to quit something right before an amazing party? Wouldn't it be smarter to wait until after? Mind you, it probably is easier to complete this task in the winter, but why? Just party it up... Unless your a degenerate and if that's the cause get some help and lock yourself up.

3. Spend more time with family and friends

This is the kind of resolution people say when they are surrounded by family and friends that they have neglected the previous year. This individual will more often then not "toast" to family once this resolution is said out loud.  This is also the individual that will not be seen until the next NYE and then give the same cheesy speech and the same terrible toast. Good luck with that, idiot.

4. Get out of Debt

A good goal that would be more long term than short, but a dumb resolution. You just blew all your savings or your Christmas bonus to buy presents and gifts for loved ones, now you just announced that you bought everything on credit and you're poor and can't pay for it. Keep this resolution to yourself and make up a public one for when you have to share. If you have to share of course. Don't announce that getting out of debt is your goal. Everyone at the table is going to say, "Why did you buy me this watch then?" or "Why did you get my kid that dumb video game?" Save yourself the ridicule and pick numbers 1, 2 or 3.

5. "Get Organized"

What the fuck does this mean? Be more specific asshole.

As for my resolution, I said I wanted to write a book. I have no idea how I'm going to pull this one off. Anyone got any book idea? Ha ha ha ha ha ha

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